I try, I don’t try. I work, I don’t work. I listen, I ignore.
My life has become a checklist, a desperate formula to somehow find an open door.
Every effort to surrender, every attempt to rest.
Always seems to land me back in this mental mess.
I’ve analyzed til’ I’m paralyzed, I’m numb and at the end.
This isn’t a new destination, it’s a state in which I’ve often been.
I’m out of ideas how to get over, walk through, and overcome.
I’ve tried desperately to rest in, trust in, and depend on the power of the only One.
So why do I always end up in this desert, this cave, this ‘what the hell’!
When will I ever finally see the fruit of what I believe come to life in the story I tell?
I’ve only One that I can run to, only One to heal my soul.
The silence cannot continue, this long, dark night in an emotional black hole.
When will I find that place of restful repose
Where I confidently and securely function in what my heart knows.
That I’m loved by the One who is more than enough
To fill every place, where I can’t measure up.
Not a failure, vulnerability, or a flesh and blood flaw
Can keep me from becoming and being the man that He saw
When He placed me in Christ before the world breathed its first
To live life abundant in every facet of my existence here on earth.
I can experience Kingdom come in the right here, right now space and time.
Every promise, every blessing, every desire from His heart is now mine.
So in every “what the hell” moment, when my strength is all but gone.
I simply believe, fall into His grace, and trust He is working, and I’m never alone.