Thursday, June 29, 2017
"It IS a Small, Small World, After All"
But I digress....the theme, "It's a Small, Small World After All" began rattling around in my cranium today while I was working out. Maybe it was the heat, or the persistent bumblebee that relentlessly chased me around the track, but that theme opened up the inner recesses of my mind and heart and began to reveal the source of maybe why frustration and disappointment have seemingly escalated their "attacks" on me recently, and why I seem to have encountered--for the first (or second) time in my 40 years--the smothering tentacles of depression and despair closing in on me.
My biggest issue seems to be this...I have a nasty habit of evaluating life and meaning through the lens of my personal circumstance and feelings. How freakin stupid is that?!?!?!?! I mean, is it possible that I have been duped into trading Love's truth for my limited and fickle circumstantial perspective? Or have I been so blind as to confuse narrow-minded selfish emotion with reality?
Wow! That nailed me in the head, or was that the bumblebee catchin' up to me?
How many times have I been so guilty and so self-centered by judging this life, other people, and the world by my small perspective and selfish, ever-changing emotions!
When was the last time we opened the windows of our world to the life of another? It's incredible how beautiful and diverse our world will become, when we make the efforts to find value and meaning in worlds outside our own!
Personally, my circumstances (in certain areas of my life) are kinda bleak and barren at present. I've parsed through alot of regret, "what ifs", and the many coulda, shoulda and wouldas recently, but I'm starting see how I've spent so much time wallowing in the "misery and the mundane" of what I thought my world looked like, that I've become desensitized and aloof to the world around me. It's a sobering and even embarrassing reality when you see that you've become so self absorbed that you look at the WHOLE WIDE WORLD and everything and everybody in it, ONLY as it relates to your little corner, your little box of toys, and your individual moods and emotions.